I always take the stairs at work.
It’s not something I think about, I just take the stairs.
But last week, when I got to work, the stairs were blocked with yellow tape and there were maintenance staff working in the stair well.
For a moment I actually wondered how I was going to get to my office.
In that moment, I’d forgotten that there were elevators in the building.
And this really struck me.
This stair climbing thing I do, it’s a total habit. It’s a habit that I created.
Because I didn’t always take the stairs.
I used to enjoy the elevator, and taking the stairs was the exception.
So how did I go from taking the elevator to forgetting that the elevator even existed?
One day, several years ago, I simply made the DECISION (which I found out comes from the Latin to “cut off” all other options) to take the stairs, NO MATTER WHAT (except, of course, when they’re broken).
And then, each day I got into work, I had to remind myself “I take the stairs now,” and I’d take the stairs.
I took them when I was carrying several bags.
I took them when I was tired.
I took them when I was sick (obviously not sick enough to take the day off).
I took them when I was with other people (convincing them to take the stairs too).
I took them NO MATTER WHAT.
And once I’d taken the stairs instead of the elevator enough days in a row – I don’t know if it was 21 days, or 60 days, or 90 days – the thought NOT to take the stairs no longer popped up.
To the point where I even forgot about the elevator altogether.
So what did I really do by creating this habit?
I changed my psychology.
Of course, taking the stairs is a pretty simple habit.
But the truth is that the following steps can work for pretty much any habit you want to create, even the more difficult ones.
I’ve actually taken these steps to create running and meditating habits. And now I’ve got plans to use them to help me make a habit of NOT procrastinating.
So, if you’re wondering how to stop eating at night, or how to drink less, or how to give up sweets, or even how to become a marathon runner, that is the way:
Change your psychology.
That means:
1. Make the DECISION to do what it is you want to do.
2. Take the ACTION every day to follow through on your decision.
3. Enjoy the automatic HABIT you’ll create (which means no longer having the burden of making the choice)
So, for example, if you want to stop eating at night…
1. DECIDE not to eat at night.
Make the decision, in clear words, and write them down. And when you write them down, write them AS IF you’re already that person who doesn’t eat at night and who doesn’t even THINK of eating at night.
Write something like “I don’t eat anything after supper, and that makes me sleep better and feel better.”
2. Take the ACTION of not eating each night
Follow through on your decision. I mean read that statement you wrote when you made the decision. I mean do something else at night like take a walk, or knit, or read, or spend time talking with someone you love. I mean do it NO MATTER WHAT.
Yes, this will be tough – this is the WORK of the process. But anything that’s worth it takes WORK (raising kids comes to mind).
3. Enjoy your new HABIT of not eating at night
Once you’ve not eaten for many nights in a row, at some point you’ll notice that you’re no longer thinking about food after supper. Yes, it’s true, this will happen.
And the amazing thing is, similar to me with the elevator, it will happen so unexpectedly that you may not even notice that you’re not thinking of food in the evening.
There are the three steps to the making of a great habit.
Now, without question, out of these three steps, the most difficult one will be #2.
The ACTION step is the toughest because, when you begin to do the WORK, you’ll meet RESISTANCE.
Steven Pressfield, in his great little book titled “Do the Work”, talks about this resistance and all the forms it can take.
He says RESISTANCE can show up in you as fear, self-sabotage, procrastination, addiction, self-doubt, perfectionism, and other wonderful things.
But there’s on thing he wrote that stuck with me in particular: The more important the goal is to you, the more RESISTANCE you’ll feel.
RESISTANCE is normal. Expect it. Respect it. And move forward anyways.
Also, in addition to your own internal resistance, you’ll likely experience external resistance from friends & family.
Although they’re very well-intentioned, they like you the way you are, they don’t want you to change.
Again, as with internal resistance, expect your friends and family to not support your goal, at least at first.
But don’t worry, you’ll find people who will support your new goal (new friends, teachers, coaches,…), and eventually your loved ones will come around.
So, just to sum up:
Make the decision.
Do the work.
Expect resistance.
Keep doing the work no matter what.
Reap the rewards of your new habit.
Not only will you have a great new habit, but you’ll also have gained a huge amount of respect and confidence in yourself for getting it done.
Keep moving forward my friend,
Debbie
PS Next week I’ll be share the 3 qualities your new habit should have so you’ll actually be motivated to keep on doing it.
PPS Fall classes are underway, but it’s never too late to come out and join! Come try a class for free and see if it’s for you… just call me/text me at 514-445-6434 to let me know you’re coming 🙂
PPPS Looking for inspiration on changing your own psychology? Here’s Cindy’s Story, a popular post I put out last year that talks about CIndy’s journey to a healthier relationship with food.