Maybe we could all write the book on this one.
So many of us are masters of staying stuck.
And we wish we weren’t.
Personally, I’ve been stuck in jobs, relationships, feeling guilty, feeling shame,…
It’s always a journey getting unstuck… and it’s where I’ve done most of my growing.
But, if you’d like to continue staying exactly where you are, just keep doing one or all of the following…
- Go on another diet, stick to it for a week
- Sign up for a year-long gym membership, go three times
- Wake up earlier, press snooze, press it again
- Plan a reasonable bedtime, watch another episode of “Outer Banks”
- Mull over all your problems, especially just as you drift off to sleep
- Have one glass of wine… What the hell, there’s only half left, finish the bottle
- Hang out with people with all the habits you don’t want to have
Of course I’m trying to be funny here…
But I know that it’s not so funny when you are heavily identified with these situations.
You wonder, “What’s wrong with me?? Why can’t I just stop doing this?”
Well, nothing’s wrong with you.
You can stop.
How to get unstuck
Have you ever heard the Einstein quote that goes something like, “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind in that created it”?
That’s actually the answer.
If you’re trying to improve your life – become happier, healthier, less stressed – using the same thinking and logic and ideas you’ve always had, you’ll get the same results.
So the answer, backed by Einstein, is to change your mind.
Think new thoughts.
It sounds simple, right?
But the problem is… Your brain loves easy.
It will stubbornly keep you thinking the same old thoughts over and over again, even if you say you don’t want to.
And this has a good side.
It makes you very efficient at doing repetitive tasks.
Tasks like driving to work, doing laundry, or washing your body parts in the same order every single time you shower.
You don’t have to waste your precious brain energy thinking about these things.
But there’s a down side.
When you want to change a behavior, your brain will resist.
Like when you’re using Waze and you decide to take a longer, maybe more scenic, route…
It will keep trying to get you back on path, the most efficient one.
Your brain will do the same.
So, to make your brain NOT go into this mode, you have to disable the setting.
Ok, well that’s not really possible.
But what you can do, is outsmart it.
How to outsmart your subconscious mind
Here’s an example…
You want to wake up at 6:30am, but you’re used to waking up at 7:30am. So, you set your alarm for 6:30am and for the first few days, you get up and feel good about it. Yay you!! But soon your brain begins to resist. You hit the snooze button and get up a few minutes later, or just ignore it completely and oversleep. You give up, and use this situation to reaffirm that you’re not a morning person and you just can’t do it.
However, that’s just an excuse and it’s not true.
So, here are the steps to follow when you want to outsmart your habitual, sub-conscious mind…
1.EXPECT your brain to resist
When I’m talking about your brain here, I’m really talking about your sub-conscious mind.
And when it resists change, it’s just doing its job.
Nothing has gone wrong.
ANY change you want to make that’s a departure from what you’re used to, will come up against resistance.
Sleep habits, eating habits, exercise, being happier, stressing less…
Expect that your brain will be resistant, and that’s absolutely normal.
2.STOP identifying with your sub-conscious mind
You are not your sub-conscious mind.
It’s just an operating system that runs programs which were created based on your PAST thoughts and actions.
It creates habits from the things you do most often.
It’s amazing, and it makes your life so much more efficient.
But YOU are NOT this operating system.
You are the OPERATOR.
You, are the conscious part of your mind, and you are in charge.
So, it’s time to stop saying things like, “I’m just not a morning person,” or “I’m always late for things,” or “I just don’t know how to stick to things.”
You are not any of that (unless you want to be.)
You have the capacity, the capability, and all the brain power in the world to change anything about yourself!
That’s one of your super powers.
No other animals have this.
You can override any thought your pre-programmed mind is offering you.
And start doing new things.
Right now.
3. Remind yourself CONSTANTLY
As amazing as our minds are, they do not retain these new thoughts easily.
Like a child who’s learning something for the first time, repetition is the key.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Expose yourself to this new thought CONSTANTLY.
Print it on your coffee mug, record your voice saying it, create a vision of it in your mind…
So, if you want to wake up at 6:30am, try the thought “I love being a morning person.”
It may just make you a morning person!
4. Become THAT person
So, this is a biggie…
Become the person who just wakes up at 6:30am.
What does she do in the morning? How does she feel? How much coffee does she drink?
Remember, you are not a recovering night owl… You are a MORNING PERSON dammit!
Identify with her.
Write out your morning routine as her, from her point of view.
She doesn’t find it a struggle to wake up at 6:30.
It’s just normal, and it feels easy to her.
Step into her shoes.
Where are you stuck?
No matter where you’re stuck, you can get yourself unstuck.
And it’s really up to you.
As easy as it is to believe something is hard, like getting up at 6:30am, you can just as easily believe it’s easy.
It’s just a shift in thinking.
But it’s a conscious shift.
It doesn’t happen just because you want it to.
It happens because you adopt it as who you are, and let go of any other possibility.
Yes, it takes practice.
But you’ve probably already done this somewhere before in your life.
Look for those examples, and you’ll know it’s possible.
And keep moving forward,
Debbie
P.S. I’m relaunching my BF2BF Group Coaching Program on March 22nd, and I hope you’ll be there! We’ll get deeper into the details of how to get unstuck and become the woman you want to be. You’ll find so much support, encouragement, friendship, and fun. See you there!