Live fully in midlife and beyond
If you’re going through menopause, there’s a very good chance that you’re experiencing hot flashes.
Or night sweats – the night-time version.
About 75% of women going through menopause will experience hot flashes and/or night sweats, over a few months or several years.
It’s the most common issue during menopause.
But the good news is there’s a lot you can do to keep your cool and turn down the heat naturally.
Continue reading “How to cool your hot flashes”
Happy New Year!
It’s the beginning of 2019, and with that you may be determined to everything right this year.
You will FINALLY eat healthy and eat less.
But how are you going to get this done?
Let me suggest how NOT to get it done: WILLPOWER.
We’ve all tried willpower to help us change our habits, and it might work at first, but most of the time it wears out.
Because WILLPOWER takes a tremendous amount of ENERGY.
Every time you say “no” to something you really want, or eat something “healthy” while everyone else is having something that you’d rather be eating, you’re RESISTING.
When you resist something, you’re using willpower.
And, in this case, it’s not actually the food you’re resisting; it’s the thought “I really, really want to eat that!” that you’re resisting.
Because food is just food; it just IS.
It’s what you think about the food that makes the difference.
For example, you may LOVE chocolate, but your neighbor two doors down might be completely indifferent to it. Same food, two different thoughts.
So, you’re not fighting the food, you’re fighting your THOUGHTS about the food.
Make sense?
When you use willpower, it’s as if you’re running away from a monster that’s chasing you (in this case it’s the thought that “I really, really want it!” that’s the monster.)
Eventually you’ll get tired of running, because no one can run forever.
And that’s when the thought will get you, and you’ll eat the food, almost against your own will.
As you can see, WILLPOWER IS EXHAUSTING.
Now, consider a feather.
A feather is soft, weightless, and moves seemingly effortlessly.
Imagine that instead of running away from your thought about a food you’re trying to resist, you instead approach it with a feather.
Yes, a feather.
Approaching the thought shows that you’re not afraid of it, because you know it can’t hurt you; it’s just a thought.
When you get up close, you’ll see that it’s just a bubble containing a few words strung together forming a sentence. It’s harmless.
Then you can gently tap the thought bubble with your beautiful, delicate feather and watch it disappear.
In this way, you’re not FIGHTING the thought, WRESTLING with “should I, or shouldn’t I?”, or RUNNING in the opposite direction.
You’re just ALLOWING the thought, BECOMING AWARE that it has no power, and then LETTING IT GO.
Poof!
Sounds lovely, doesn’t it?
But you may be thinking you can’t possibly do that; it can’t be that easy.
And I’m telling you it can be.
If you’re really willing to see that food is not out to get you, that your thoughts about food are not evil, and that you’ve had those ruby slippers all along, everything can change.
Your only difficulty will be picking the most beautiful feather.
When have you tried willpower? Did it work for you?
I’ve definitely used it in the past, especially when I first tried giving up sugar, and also when I became vegetarian.
Now I’ve learned that I can’t power my way through change over the long haul.
Gentle awareness is the only thing I know that works, especially when you do mess up (and we all do.)
With willpower as your fuel, you’ll likely throw in the towel…
But with gentle awareness you’ll have the energy and understanding to pick yourself up and try again.
Keep moving forward,
Debbie
P.S. Boot Camp and Yoga classes are starting up this week in Rosemere! January 7th and January 10th… Get more details or sign up on my CLASSES page. Hope to see you there!
“Don’t set your expectations too high, you’ll be setting yourself up for disappointment.”
Yikes!!
I’m sure you, like me, have heard this more than once… Am I right?
The problem is, for me, and maybe for you, I fell for it; hook, line, and sinker.
In fact, I’ve allowed this thought to hold me hostage in certain areas of my life.
It’s kept me from thinking too big, expecting help, and expecting I’ll succeed.
But when I really, consciously, think about it, what’s the big deal about having high expectations?
Continue reading “Expect more in 2019”
We women come in every shape and size imaginable.
We’re also all ages, all skin tones, all religions, all hair colors, all incomes, all cultures, all abilities, …
We’re all human, and because of that, we’re all beautiful, right?
Well, no, not really.
At least not in our minds.
Continue reading “Do you feel pretty?”
Weight loss is a tough process.
I won’t sugar coat it.
Change – that is any type of change including weight loss – is uncomfortable.
But if the change is positive, pushing through the discomfort will strengthen every aspect of your being.
I know for a fact having personally gone through divorce, starting a business, and working with clients who’ve lost a lot of weight, making positive changes on purpose makes you more resilient, energized, and present in your life.
So, if you’ve got a lot to lose, and you’re ready to get it done, here’s how I recommend tackling it:
This coming Wednesday is Halloween.
When the kids were younger, I loved getting them dressed up and walking door-to-door, seeing all the neighbors out and about.
And of course, I loved those mini chocolate bars… especially the O-Henry’s.
But I didn’t have to wait for Halloween night to enjoy them.
Because Halloween starts around the beginning of September, just as the kids are getting back to school and summer is fading.
That’s when boxes and bags of mini chocolate bars, lollipops, caramels, chips, and chewy become prominently displayed in the local Walmart, Cosco, and grocery stores.
Because the candy makers know, and the stores know, that you and me, we don’t just buy this stuff for the kids.
We buy it for ourselves.
Continue reading “3 simple tips for walking right by the Halloween candy”
Imagine you woke up with amnesia…
You don’t remember who you were, you have no feelings about the person you used to be, you have no history.
You are a fresh sheet of paper, your story hasn’t been written.
You have the chance to recreate yourself. You can rebuild your mind with new thoughts and your heart with new feelings.
What new thought about yourself would you want to write down first?
I always take the stairs at work.
It’s not something I think about, I just take the stairs.
But last week, when I got to work, the stairs were blocked with yellow tape and there were maintenance staff working in the stair well.
For a moment I actually wondered how I was going to get to my office.
Continue reading “I took the elevator because the stairs were broken”
Do you ever feel stuck?
What I mean by stuck is feeling like you’re trapped in a situation you don’t want, like a job, a relationship, your finances, or even your own body.
At various points in my life, I’ve felt trapped in all these areas.
Hope.
It’s such a positive thing, isn’t it?
I mean we say things like “I’m hopeful things will get better”, “Hopefully I’ll lose those 10 pounds before the wedding”, or “I hope I get that job”.
So, what’s the problem with hope?