Running away from the grim reaper…

This past weekend my boyfriend, Albert, and I were in Hamilton, Ontario to run the 30K “Around the Bay” event.

It’s actually a pretty big running event.  Behind the start line we were huddled, basking in the body-heat of 4500 other runners on this chilly (but happily not raining!) March morning.

And for me, this event was pretty big for personal reasons too:  It was going to be the longest distance I’ve attempted in about 8 years.

And because of the momentousness of this event (at least in mind), I was noticing clouds of doubt and worry float into my thoughts.

Yes, I DO occasionally go to these dark places where I worry about failing miserably.

I worried about my hips and left foot giving out on me… They’ve all been giving me some pain lately.

I worried about overheating by dressing too warmly, or freezing by not wearing enough.

I worried about not having enough food with me to keep me fueled for the next 3 hours or so.

I worried about not getting up the steep HILL I’d heard about at around kilometer 26.

And finally, I worried about meeting the grim reaper…

Yes, really, the grim reaper.  Really.

I’d heard about the grim reaper from Albert who had already run this race 3 times before.

He told me that at around kilometer 27, there would be a cemetery.

And in front of the cemetery, there he would be standing, surely waiting to capture me… the grim reaper!

I guess I had concocted a story in my mind of an imposing, dark, hooded figure with a sickle and a bony hand.  I imagined that if he caught me walking (or worse, crawling) at that point in the race, he might just whisk me off to a nearby gravestone, conveniently chiseled with my name.

Although I knew he wasn’t going to be REAL, that he was just going to be a guy dressed up in a costume, I nonetheless stressed about this encounter.

I wanted to be RUNNING at kilometer 27.  FAST.

So I planned ahead.

Knowing that the HILL would be coming up at kilometer 26, I was going to save the last bit of energy I had and walk that HILL (killing myself off before meeting the grim reaper wasn’t the way I wanted to go).

So when I arrived at the base of that HILL, I walked.  Happily.

Once at the top of the hill, no cemetery or grim reaper in sight, I began to pick up the pace and wonder if the route of the race had been changed, and I wasn’t going to pass the cemetery after all.  Or if perhaps Mr. Reaper was a no-show this year.

Secretly I began to rejoice.  But the party didn’t last.

At that point my foot was sore, my hips were stiff, and my legs were beginning to weigh me down like tree trunks.

And of course my mind was breaking down too.

My thoughts were negative.  I was thinking things like “This is too hard!”, “I can’t keep moving, I want to stop!”, and “Why did I ever sign up for this stupid race anyways?”

And as my body and mind were screaming at me, I almost missed the signs.

Along the side of the road, there were white signs planted every few steps.  Inscribed on them were things like “The end is near” and “Watch out for dying runners”.

And that’s when I saw him.  He was standing in the middle of the road.

The grim reaper.

He was imposing, he was dark, but he was also such a welcome distraction from my suffering that I was actually happy to see him!

Although I didn’t high-5 him like a few other runners did (I may possibly be a little superstitious), I smiled at him and sprinted right on by.  Well, not sprinted exactly…  But I was running at least.

And then before I knew it, I was passing the sign for kilometer 28, and could see the stadium at the end of the wonderfully sweet downward slope that lay in front of me.  I was almost done.  In every way.

I ran across the finish line, emotional as always, and was amazed to see I’d actually completed the darn thing in less than 3 hours.  What an awesome and unexpected end to the race I was worried I wouldn’t even finish.

Today, reflecting on that whole 30K race, I realize that I really never had anything to worry about.  EXCEPT MY OWN WORRIES.

I think Roosevelt put it best when he said, “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”

It’s really crazy what we do to ourselves.  The worry, stress, fear, and anxiety we cause ourselves with our own imaginations.

And then when none of these things materialize, we’re relieved, but the relief is short-lived.  And then the cycle of worrying begins again.

Well, today I’m imprinting the following in my mind (and you’re all witnesses) so I can reflect on it before I launch myself into doubt and worry next time:

I will not worry about all the things that could go wrong the next time I’m lined up at the start line (real  or metaphoric).  I’ll just go out there, enjoy myself, smile at others who are out there too, and know that this is a great day because I choose it to be.  And that even if something seemingly negative does materialize (like the grim reaper), I’ll use it to strengthen and propel my next steps forward.

Done.

Now, if you haven’t already, sit back and enjoy this video of the grim reaper (or “Tim the Grim”) posted by Canadian Running Magazine.  I’ll be in touch next week.

Keep moving (or running) forward my friends,

Debbie

P.S. Don’t forget that BOOT CAMP and YOGA classes  are beginning and you can sign up directly on my website (or in-class with cash or cheque).

P.P.S. Also, if you need more help losing weight or getting fit this season, contact me at 1-514-445-6434 for a FREE COACHING CALL.  What have you got to lose?