Calm.
I realize that since I learned to calm myself years ago, it’s been like a superpower in my life.
During the year when I was 8 years old, I ended up in the hospital several times.
Anxiety.
First day of school, summer vacation, and a bike accident all lead to feelings of high anxiety in my little body.
And my digestive system stopped working as it should.
Hence the trips to the hospital.
Anxiety continued to plague me until university.
That’s when I finally made a decision to deal with it.
I’d never been to therapy, and no one had talked to me about yoga, or breathing, or mantras, but I knew that my mind was creating the problems in my body.
I realized that all my worried thoughts about meeting new people, visiting new places, and school exams were affecting my heart rate, my sleep, and my digestive system.
I knew I needed to find CALM in those moments.
So, I learned about breathing, and I started talking to myself, using thoughts like “There’s always a way through this,” and “I am in control of me.”
Over time, I learned to CALM my mind, and my body.
And it literally changed my life, and allowed me to do things I’d always been too afraid to do.
So, I know how important the SKILL of calming yourself can be.
Especially right now, in this time of high anxiety and uncertainty.
Knowing how to calm yourself, and get yourself into a state of calm can change everything.
But what is CALM?
From my experience, I believe CALM is a state of awareness.
Being CALM means you’re in tune with what’s going on, IN and AROUND you.
CALM is when your mind is clear, mostly undisturbed by unconscious thoughts and emotions.
And physically, CALM manifests as a slower breathing rate, and a feeling of ease, comfort, and stability in your body.
What are the benefits of CALM?
Calm is something many of us want MORE of.
My clients frequently mention “getting calm” as a goal.
Because of the year we’ve had, and the pace that we’re living at, a lot of us are feeling higher levels of:
- Worry
- Anxiety
- Stress
- Overwhelm
- Panic
And if you’re frequently feeling any of these things, then chances are you’re struggling.
Struggling with issues related to:
- Sleep
- Weight*
- Health issues
- Relationships
- Work
- Self-care
If you’ve experienced issues with an of these, you probably know that trying to solve then from a frazzled, overwhelmed, or stressed mind doesn’t really work.
Trying to solve problems from that “unstable” and closed mind, leads your brain to rely on previous experiences and old information.
It doesn’t allow you to consider new possibilities, or have the openness to see other options.
And it probably won’t lead you to making the best decisions.
So, in order to solve for what you’re struggling with, the key is to get CALM first.
*Just a note here: As we move into perimenopause and beyond, stress becomes a significant cause of fat gain and a reason why losing fat becomes more difficult. By reducing stress, worry, and anxiety, the hormones in your body shift and fat is more easily released. So, getting calm can be the best thing to do for fat loss in mid-life.
What’s the easiest, most effective way to CALM your mind and body?
Breathing.
Breathing is the most powerful way to calm yourself.
But it works great for calming others too.
And that’s part of the inspiration for this post today.
I’ve started using breathing to calm my dog, Amber.
In recent months, she’s been getting anxious when she hears loud noises like thunder and fireworks.
And her anxiety shows up as incessant panting and shaking.
Unfortunately, most of the time this happens in the middle of the night, when I’m sleeping (she sleeps in our bed.)
And I’m not usually a happy camper when I’m woken up at 2am.
When it first started happening, I’d get up with her, and I found that being in the basement helped calm her.
But that obviously wasn’t great for me.
So, one night, instead of getting up with her, I decided to try breathing.
Long, slow breaths.
I put one hand on her, and focused on calming my breathing, and my mind.
I consciously let go of frustration and tried feeling compassion instead.
I imagined that I was transmitting compassion and calmness to her.
And within 5 minutes, she was sleeping soundly.
I thought it was amazing, but I also thought that it might have been a fluke.
So, I tried it again the next time it happened, and the time after that.
And each time, within about 5 minutes, she was sleeping soundly.
So, I learned first hand that not only can we CALM OURSELVES by changing our breathing and feeling calmer, we can also CALM OTHERS.
What else can you do to get CALM?
As CALM is a state of awareness, it helps to do things that make you more aware or conscious.
Some of those things are:
- Meditation
- Journaling
- Listening to calm music
- Creating calm thoughts, beliefs, or mantras like, “Nothing has gone wrong,” “Everything is figureoutable,” and “I have all the answers within me.”
- Talking to a calm person who will listen
However, there are also BARRIERS to getting calm.
Some of these barriers include blaming others, trying to control others, and a perfectionist mindset.
When you’re in the mindset of blaming or trying to control others or outside circumstances, you’re not in a state of calm.
The same goes for expecting perfection from yourself or others.
In those mindsets, you may choose to self-soothe by eating, drinking, or smoking.
But real CALM comes when you accept and live from the belief that the only person you can control is YOU.
And that, no matter what, you can figure things out and move forward.
You have the power to CALM yourself with your breathing and your own thoughts.
Nothing else is needed.
I’ve done it, my clients have done it, and you can do it too.
Are you living in chronic stress, worry, or anxiety? How do you CALM yourself?
It’s amazing, but I in the twenty-six years since university, I’ve only had anxiety-related issues about twice.
That’s truly unbelievable when I think about it.
It was such a huge part of my childhood.
And a source of shame for me as well.
But, as is usually the case, our greatest superpowers come from our greatest struggles.
And CALM is my superpower.
It’s a skill that I’ve learned, that I’ve sharpened, and that I now teach others as a coach.
I love it when things come full circle.
Keep moving forward,
Debbie
P.S. If you’d like to get calmer, and let go of stress and anxiety so you can feel better in your body, book a call with me. It’s free. Just find a time that works for you: https://calendly.com/debbie-harbec-coaching/free-consultation