So many women I meet are feeling a sort of unease, unhappiness, or general anxiety.
And they know, deep inside, that something needs to change.
But what?
Maybe you’re familiar with this feeling.
And maybe you think you already know the change you want to make…
You want to change your career.
Or start a business.
Or leave a relationship.
Or start new relationships.
Or transform your body.
Or just become a more authentic version of you.
And maybe you don’t know.
So, it would seem like the best place to start is by asking yourself a question:
“What do I want?”
It’s only four words, but it can be the hardest question to answer.
It feels overwhelming.
I think it’s because it’s so wide open.
And it’s something so many of us have never really asked ourselves, at least not recently.
Then, if you attempt to answer it, you may be bombarded with self-doubt and self-judgment, making it really hard to come up with what you truly want.
So, I think a much better question to start with is:
“How do I want to feel?”
Chances are, that if you’re considering reinventing any part of your life, it’s because you want to feel better.
You want to feel happier, or more confident, or proud, or calm, or strong.
See if you can pin down the feeling you’re really looking for.
And write it down.
A little story of reinvention…
When I went through a divorce almost fifteen years ago, I needed to redefine who I was.
Circumstances around me were changing.
I no longer had a husband, or a house, or access to my kids full-time.
And I felt deflated, ashamed, angry, and really sad.
And yet I knew I had to keep moving forward.
I had to reinvent myself.
First of all, I decided that I didn’t want to become a bitter old lady.
I didn’t want to find myself, years down the line, talking about this devastating event, with anger and bitterness to anyone who would listen.
I didn’t want this one thing to define me for the rest of my life.
I wanted more for myself, and my kids.
So, when I really thought about it, I decided that the feeling I most wanted to feel was confident.
And I was feeling anything but confident at the time.
In fact, my self-confidence had been lacking for years.
So, I asked myself, “What would “confident me” do?”
And I answered…
- She would find a great place to live and raise her girls.
- She would get a good paying job and not rely on any money from her estranged partner.
- She would see this whole messy ordeal as an opportunity, and not as a black mark on her life.
- And she would take charge.
It was a powerful shift, and it taught me so much about what it is to be strong, resilient, and confident.
So, that’s how I reinvented myself at that time.
Since then, I’ve continued to reinvent myself as a person who knows she can handle anything, and who isn’t afraid of being seen.
I’ve also reinvented myself through career changes from an engineer, to now a life coach who helps other women confidently navigate their own reinventions.
Reinvention is a conscious process
I’ve learned that reinvention doesn’t come from changing your circumstances.
It doesn’t happen because of a new job, or new house, or having kids, or traveling.
Reinvention comes from choosing to make a change within yourself.
Making a conscious decision to feel, think, and act differently.
In my example, it wasn’t the divorce that caused my reinvention.
It was the choice to become a more self-confident woman.
Although the circumstances of your life aren’t always in your control, who you are is in your control.
Reinvention is about making that conscious choice to be who you want to be.
Regardless of the circumstances.
You always have a choice.
You can stay stuck, or you can reinvent yourself and get out of your own way.
Where in your life do you need reinvention?
Reinvention doesn’t have to mean a massive overhaul of your life.
It can be as simple as purposely changing the way you feel.
Like going from feeling powerless, to feeling that you’re in control.
It’s a process, but it’s very do-able.
Imagine how that simple thought change could reinvent your life.
You could go from thinking “I’m stuck,” to “I know how to get out of this.”
What would this new thought change for you?
Think about it.
Keep moving forward, my friend.
Debbie
P.S. Do you want to reinvent yourself in some way? I can help. As a coach, I work with you to define exactly what you want, and then go out and get it. If you’re interested in learning more, just REPLY to this email, or book a free consultation with me.