How to be ALL IN on yourself

I’ve been thinking about this idea.

Of being ALL IN.

Being fully committed.

No matter what.

Even when things aren’t looking good, or they’re hard, or they even seem impossible.

Staying the course.

And not giving up until I get to where I want to be.

And, even deeper, until I AM who I want to be.

That’s what being ALL IN means to me.

And I know that I haven’t always been ALL IN on doing the things that are important to me.

Sometimes I say I want something, and I take some steps to get there, but I know that I’m not in it for the long haul.

In my heart, in the depth of my being, I know I’m not really committed.

I get stuck in doubt, mind drama, and excuses.

And so, as soon as it starts to get hard, I bail.

But then there are times when I’ve committed 100%.

When I’ve been ALL IN and achieved what I set out to do.

It feels awesome when it happens.

But for sure, it was scary along the way.

There were moments I could have easily given up.

Times when I wanted to stop, when I felt sorry for myself, and when I was crying the ugly cry.

But I felt in my body that I was committed.

And in my mind, there was no other option.

I never gave up.

I know you’ve known this kind of commitment in your life, too

You’ve accomlished something that wasn’t easy.

Because you never gave up.

What was that for you?

ALL IN by knowing what you want

About seven years ago, I wrote an ebook.

Writing a book had been one of my bucket list items.

So, completing this ebook was an amazing dream come true.

And to get it done, I needed to be ALL IN.

No time for excuses, interruptions, or slacking off.

I was committed.

And I completed it.

And when I look back at it now, and read what I wrote, there’s a passage that directly talks to being ALL IN:

if you want to learn to swim and you’re in a swimming pool holding onto the edge, you must let go once you make a committed decision to swim. 

If you keep holding onto the edge of the pool, paralyzed by your own fear, you won’t ever have the opportunity to learn to swim or be subjected to the sensation of sinking; you won’t experience the joy of success, or the disappointment of failure, before you finally master front crawl.

You’ll just get wet and continue to be a non-swimmer.  

Yes, it feels scary to risk letting yourself go into the unknown where there are no guarantees.  But, most often, you’ll discover that holding onto what’s habitual (like being a non-swimmer) poses the greatest hazard.

It’s so strange reading my own words, written years ago.

But they’re still relevant.

And they talk to the power of letting go, and going ALL IN.

ALL IN by letting go

Going ALL IN means letting go of what feels normal and safe.

It means abandoning an old way of doing things in favor of a new way.

Because that new way feels much more aligned with who you want to be.

The thing is, you already know how to be who you are today.

You’re the expert.

And so being the way you are now feels normal and safe.

But if you want to change something, you need to be willing NOT to know how.

Be willing to be BAD at it for a while.

Be willing to let go of getting it right, and open yourself up to the colorful world of failure and learning.

That takes vulnerability, strength, and incredible LOVE for yourself.

Ultimately I think being ALL IN demonstrates that you LOVE yourself enough to see something through.

Whether it’s being ALL IN on your health, your relationship, or your dreams, you need to LOVE yourself enough to let go of old beliefs, habits, and ideas.

Love yourself enough to let go of having it go smoothly or be perfect.

Just love yourself enough to let go of the edge.

ALL IN by thriving

You weren’t born to reach a certain pinacle and then stop growing.

You won the life lottery by being born.

You are the one in a million chance.

Countless things had to line up just right for you to be here.

So, I believe that it’s your purpose to thrive, and make this life amazing.

Experience new things.

Try, practice, fail, and succeed.

Continuously adopt things that energize you, and let go of things that drain you.

Be ALL IN with this awesome opportunity to attend this school of life.

And thrive by constantly expanding your knowledge, your experiences, and your capacity to love yourself and others.

ALL IN is a committed decision

Although I say committed decision, I believe a decision is actually a commitment.

But I don’t think we see it that way most of the time.

We still hold out for PLAN B in case PLAN A doesn’t work out.

And although it’s great to be prepared, sometimes the knowledge of PLAN B prevents us from ever really giving PLAN A a real shot.

So, for instance, when I left my job years ago, my PLAN A was to commit to building a business.

But I also had a PLAN B in the back of my mind.

I could go back and get a contract that could pay me quite well.

And I believe that having PLAN B, something to “fall back on”, held me back for a long time.

Yes, it kept me safe, but it gave me a way out of trying when things got really tough.

In life, to really thrive, I think we have to live as if PLAN A is the only way.

Because PLAN A is the whole reason behind having a PLAN in the first place.

And PLAN B never leads to what you truly want.

PLAN A is the committed decision.

It’s PLAN A or the highway.

ALL IN or nothing.


Where in your life do you want to be ALL IN?

Working as a coach, I know when my clients (and myself) are ALL IN.

And when we’re not.

When we’re ALL IN, we’re committed to moving forward EVEN WHEN we screw up.

We take responsbility for the screw up, get back up and try again.

We know deep down that we’ll eventually get it.

When we’re not ALL IN, we take steps forward, but then find reasons not to continue.

Excuses take over and newer, shinier buttons begin to look very interesting.

Bottom line: We don’t believe that we can do it.

I know that ALL IN isn’t easy because there are no guarantees on the road ahead.

You’re just deciding to be ALL IN, trusting that the way will be shown.

I think it’s like the movie, “Field of Dreams,” when Kevin Costner hears the voice say, “When you build it, they will come.”

It takes that kind of blind faith.

It’s a knowing that if you go ALL IN, the path will be shown to you even if you can’t see it right now.

The only thing you know when you’re ALL IN, is that you WILL get there.

Keep moving forward,

Debbie

P.S. If you want to go ALL IN, I’m inviting you to do it now. Before December 30th, I’m offering a free month of coaching when you sign up for a 3-month or 6-month coaching package with me.

Just “REPLY” to this message if that sounds interesting to you, or book a time to talk right here: https://calendly.com/debbie-harbec-coaching/free-consultation