Last night I taught a yoga class about the first chakra.
Chakras may sound a little woo-woo, but this first chakra is just about the energy of feeling safe and secure.
It’s the most basic human need.
And part of what makes you feel safe and secure, comes from accepting that you being alive is enough.
That you don’t need to do anything, be anything, or have anything else.
You are enough.
And, to be honest, that’s not always easy.
And, in some ways, it’s kind of counter-intuitive.
Our intuitive thoughts pipe up and say “Well, if I accept myself as I am, then I won’t ever progress, or try. I’ll just stay the same.“
And that sounds kind of logical.
“If I accept where I am, then I’m saying it’s acceptable, but it’s not acceptable.”
But the truth is that when you’re not accepting, you’re rejecting.
And if you’re not accepting the truth, you’re rejecting the truth.
And if you’re rejecting the truth, and trying to build change on top of that… Well, you’re building on shaky ground.
Unstable and unsafe.
Remember that first chakra?
Safety and stability first.
In order to build change that actually lasts, you’ve got to lay that foundation of acceptance.
I have an example of this, that I often refer to.
It’s a little extreme, but here goes.
About 12 years ago or so, I read a book called “Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust” by Imaculée Ilibagiza.
As you can tell from the title, she was a survivor of the 1994 Rwandan holocaust.
It was so touching, and so unbelievable, it transformed the way I understand acceptance and forgiveness.
As the Rwandan genocide began, Imaculée, who was 21 at the time, was hidden in a small bathroom, 3 feet by 4 feet, in a minister’s home.
She was in that tiny space with seven other women, for 91 days.
None of them ever left that room in all that time.
And when she came out, skin and bones, barely able to stand, she discovered that her parents, brothers, grandparents, and best friends had all been killed.
Bodies were everywhere she looked.
Friends she had grown up with had become murderers.
It was overwhelming.
She had so much to take in and accept.
In order to live, she had to accept that the people she loved were gone, and that she was alive.
And to move forward, she had to accept that people she had known and cared about had killed her loved ones.
In fact, she went beyond just accepting the genocide, and actually forgave those that had committed the murders of her family and friends.
She visited these people in prison, and forgave them in person.
And that’s ultimately how she was able to rebuild her life, and become an inspiration to so many.
She has told her story around the world, working for the UN, and is helping people understand the importance of loving each other, with all our differences.
I know Imaculée’s story is an extreme example, but it always comes up when I grapple with my own life problems.
Her capacity for acceptance and forgiveness has helped me understand that to make change happen, you have to be willing to acknowledge, with eyes wide open, where you are now.
You have to be willing to honestly see the bad and the good, right now.
And, if possible, you have to be willing to forgive yourself, and maybe others, for the journey that led to this moment, this place in your life.
You may not love where you are, but accepting where you are is the most powerful thing you can do right now.
Because acceptance says “This is where I am, and this is what happened up until now. I see it clearly, and I take responsibility for my role in it.”
Acceptance allows you to let go of blame, and move forward, with a clean slate.
When you don’t accept, you keep trying to figure out what went wrong, blaming yourself and others, and dragging your entire past with you.
It’s a lot of weight to carry.
Acceptance lightens your load.
So, what does this mean in practical terms?
It can mean accepting you’re in debt, which means admitting the real numbers to yourself.
From there, you can build a plan to not only get yourself out of debt, but to get you to put money aside for that house by the beach you want to retire in.
However, if you don’t accept your financial situation it can show up as more debt, a feeling of entitlement, or complaining about being stuck.
Or…
It can look like accepting your body, which can mean taking responsibility for past choices, and deciding to forgive yourself.
From there, you can plan to not only make new lifestyle choices, but you can plan for what you’re going do in that future body. Ideally something you’ve been putting off for years.
However, if you don’t accept your body as it is right now, it can show up as several unsuccessful diets, a feeling of “why me? what’s wrong with my body?”, or thinking that food manufacturers are to blame.
Or…
It can look like accepting a relationship has ended, which can mean that you acknowledge your role in why things didn’t work out.
From there you can begin to heal, learn more about yourself and what you want, and attract a new, maybe even better, relationship.
However, if you don’t accept it, it can show up as stalking that person, blaming them for all their mistakes, or avoiding other possibilities for love.
So, all this to say that you can accept where you are today, even if it’s not where you want to end up.
And I believe that to make changes, and get to where you want to end up, you’ve got to accept first.
Acceptance is the stable jumping off point to change.
And I guess we’ve had a major lesson in this over the past 10 months.
We’ve had to accept there’s a virus, spreading easily, that can harm us or others.
If we don’t accept it, it will continue to spread, thousands more will get sick and die, and we’ll be pointing fingers at everyone around us.
Accepting it means that we acknowledge it exists, and then we do what we can do to end it, without finger pointing.
I know accepting stuff isn’t easy.
It’s not supposed to be.
But it’s the only choice that leads to positive change.
At least from what I can tell.
Keep moving forward my friend,
Debbie
P.S. You can join me anytime for 10 weeks of Yoga… No matter when you begin. You’ll 10 weeks from whenever you sign up. Here’s the link: https://debbie-harbec.lpages.co/belly-fit-yoga-winter-2021
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