Finding your calm during a pandemic

I actually wrote this post a couple of years ago.

But I think it’s particularly useful in this moment.

Because I wrote it at a time when I was personally experiencing a lot of anxiety, and someone close to me had just had an anxiety attack.

Now, collectively, we’re experiencing a time of uncertainty and that’s causing a lot of anxiety.

And anxiety it’s important to acknowledge that anxiety is a normal human feeling.

It’s not something we can get rid of.

But it is something we can bring awareness to, and actually address using simple, calm ideas.

So, here’s the post I wrote, with some minor changes:

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The way I deal with life’s challenges:  I run away from them

Actually I really do, but maybe not in the way it sounds.

When I’m stressed, when I’m faced with difficult decisions, or when life just feels heavy, I’ve learned that going outside for run or walk lightens my load and uplifts me.

Running from my problems makes them seem smaller.

I don’t know why exactly this is.

Maybe it’s the endorphins from the cardio, or focusing on something else other than the issue, or the perspective of the vastness of the outdoor space that I’m running in.

It’s probably all the above.

All I know is that running outside works for me.

The reason I bring this up is that someone very close to me suffered a severe panic attack recently.

And we had to call an ambulance.

Hyperventilation, shaking, numbness in the hands and legs to the point of being unable to move, and choking.

It was humbling.  It was scary.  And it made me feel powerless.

It woke up my own battle with anxiety and really opened my eyes to the fact that so many of us are suffering with it.

Especially now during this pandemic.

So many of us are suffering because of what’s going on in our minds.

Our thoughts about the situation.

Your thoughts.

Thoughts. So many thoughts. Always thinking. Thinking. Mindless, unconscious thinking.

Your mind is constantly thinking.

By some estimates, you have about 60,000 thoughts each day, most of which you’re completely unaware of. 

And most of those thoughts aren’t at all helpful or positive.

Getting caught up in these thoughts, especially if they’re negative, can lead to feeling anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, and depressed.

And sometimes, you get so identified with these unconscious thoughts, they can make you feel like you’re stuck.

Stuck in a limited mindset, stuck feeling bad, stuck with no choices.

This mental stuck-ness in negativity might even begin showing up in your body.

A tightness in your chest, neck, shoulders or back.  Breathlessness.  Numbness.

An anxiety attack.

And frustratingly, the only way out of stuck-ness is the same way you got in:  your thoughts.

Consciously thinking constructive or encouraging thoughts can actually calm you and get you un-stuck.

Your mind is that powerful.

The same mind that got you into anxiety, can also pull you out of anxiety.

That’s pretty amazing.

And the way to get there is through calm.

Calm – the way I see it – means to choose to activate a larger (or limitless) mindset.

Here’s how I break it down:

1. Choose

First of all, I believe that being calm is a choice.

And if you start off with that belief, then calm is always in your control.

That’s empowering.

You can choose to be calm and then actually be calm.

I don’t believe that some people are naturally calm and others aren’t. 

Although some might wear their stress and overwhelm on the outside, and others carry it on the inside, ultimately everyone feels stressed and overwhelmed sometimes. 

It’s part of being human.

The difference lies in choosing to get calm – inside and out – and accepting that stress and overwhelm are all just part of the game.

2. Activate

To be calm, it can be tempting to just let everything slide and stop caring.

But then that would lead to a whole other set of problems and worries.

Instead, getting to calm actually requires conscious action.

Consciously choosing to take an action that allows you to better cope with the situation is where your inner calm can begin to take root.

And the action you choose should ideally widen your perspective and help you see a bigger picture.

I’ll give you some ideas for actions below.

3. Larger or Limitless Mindset

When you get lost in overwhelm and stress, your mind is zoomed in on that.

It’s like that game where you have to guess the bigger object from a picture that shows you only a small, zoomed-in section.

It’s really tough to do!

When you’re highly stressed or anxious, your mind is focused on only a small part of what’s going on. 

Without the rest of the picture to give you perspective, you can experience a lot of frustration, loss of temper, frazzled hysteria, panic…

So, you’ve got to actively expand your mindset. 

And practice putting space around it. Work on making it limitless.

How can you do this?

Here are some ideas for actions that can give you a more limitless mindset:

• Get quiet and focus your mind on a single thing, like your breathing or a candle. I call this meditation, but you can call it whatever name works for you
• Do some focused or repetitive movement like walking, running, Yoga, Tai Chi, or Chi Gong
• Write out your jumble of frustrations onto a piece of paper, or hammer it out on a keyboard so you can see it on the screen
• Purposely take a minute or two to think about the good stuff in your life, no matter how small
• Take your mind to past moments of joy, or physically go to a place, if possible, that makes you feel happy, light, and free
• Try something creative like painting, drawing, sculpting, designing, gardening, or building

There are many paths to calm, these are just a few.

But the path doesn’t just appear.

It requires conscious consideration and then taking action.

You set your own path to calm, and then practice it daily so it becomes the clear and easy choice when anxiety shows up.

Ultimately how you handle your difficulties comes from what you’ve practiced most often.

If you’ve always been reactive to bad news, turning beat red and screaming  and shouting, then that’s what you’ll do when you get bad news;

Or if stress leads you to open the fridge and eat whatever’s in there, then that’s what you’ll do when you feel stressed;

Or if you get comfort from trying to do everything perfectly, then you’ll continue trying to be perfect to feel comfortable…

Unless you begin to form and nurture a calmer path, your deeply ingrained habits will take over.

For me, I’ve had to put in place some daily practices to ease my own anxiety.

My daily calming routine includes running and walking outside, meditation, and writing.

These things do the trick for me, but I need to do them daily to experience their benefit.

The important thing is to experiment and choose the path or paths that are right for you, and practice them daily.

So, start with picking just one small action – maybe one from the list I’ve given you above – and commit to it.

Then begin.

And keep moving forward,

Debbie

P.S. Yoga is a great practice to calm your mind by pulling you out of your constantly swirling thoughts.

Join me on Thursdays at 7:30pm EDT, for a Yoga practice I’m offering on Zoom. Just bring a mat, a cushion or block, and use the Zoom link on my Classes page.

See you there 🙂