How are you self-sabotaging?

Have you been self-sabotaging your efforts to do something you really want to do?

This week I was listening to a podcast from life coach Brooke Castillo about self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is actually a behavior I’m very familiar with.  Almost every client I see is self-sabotaging in some way, especially by over doing it with certain foods or food portions when weight loss is their goal.

But there are other behaviors that I hadn’t really classified in my mind as self-sabotage like…

• Procrastination
• Not showing up
• Quitting
• And yes, over-indulging (what Brooke calls buffering) not just in food but also alcohol, shopping, surfing the net,… and even Netflix.

Yes, Netflix.

Bells went off in my head when I heard her mention this specifically.

See, almost 2 months ago I subscribed to Netflix.  I know, I’m late to the party on that one.

It was the Monday after the royal wedding, and I was still feeling the buzz of royal fever.

I was talking about the wedding with someone at work, and they said that if I was into the royals, I would probably enjoy the Netflix series called “The Crown”.  (If you haven’t seen it, it’s a soap-opera-like look into the royal family from the beginning of Queen Elizabeth’s reign.)

So, almost without hesitation, figuring it was about time I come into the 21^st century, I signed up for Netflix.

Then I sat down and watched the first episode of “The Crown” on my TV.

It was riveting.

Amazing actors, beautiful costumes and scenery, and no commercials… awesome!

I loved it right away.

So, I watched another episode.

And another.

And then I got the Netflix app on my phone.

I could watch “The Crown” from anywhere!

Within less than 2 weeks, I’d watched the entire 2 seasons.

Yikes!

Where was I finding the time to do this?

Well, I wasn’t just watching from the comfort of my sofa.  I was also “watching” while I was doing other things like cooking, washing the dishes, getting dressed, working out and folding laundry.

When I really looked at what I had done, I had watched 20 1-hour episodes in about 12 days.  That’s almost 2 hours a day that I wouldn’t have normally been watching TV.

20 hours that I realized I was putting off focusing on work I really wanted to do.

20 hours of falling for the oldest trick in the book:  Being lured by the temptation of a comfortable, mind-numbing activity.

It seemed… irresistible.

And understanding the mind, I know that we all crave that which is easy and comfortable, they can be very hard to resist.

I also know that in order to do things that are challenging and uncomfortable for us – like eating healthier foods, or not taking a drink when everyone else has one, or getting out of bed to workout – requires consistent effort.

And the effort comes from over-riding this innate desire for ease and comfort.

Without making the effort, chances are you won’t succeed at doing the things you really want to do.

Instead, you’ll be easily trapped by the smell of fresh baked bread, or cold beers at a summer bbq, or your warm bed on cold morning.

Without intervention, you will self-sabotage, almost guaranteed.

What you need is a plan to deal with these inevitable obstacles.

You need to begin with understanding what obstacles are likely to show up and how you’ll deal with each and everyone of them.

In my case, I took a few different steps to curb my Netflix enthusiasm.

First I got rid of the app on my phone.

Then I decided to only watch a series with someone else, like my man.

And then, if these two measures still don’t do the trick, I’ll get rid of Netflix altogether.

Watching Netflix isn’t a bad thing in itself, neither are eating fresh bread, having a beer, or sleeping in.

The problem lies in our desire to comfort ourselves in the moment using easy, small pleasures.

The effort requires uncomfortably facing why you’re looking to get comfortable in the first place.

What are you avoiding?

For sure you’re avoiding something.  I know you are, we all are.

For me, I realized that Netflix was helping me avoid doing the difficult, focused work of writing this blog and working on my business.

Ironically I love writing my blog and running my business, but I know that working on them comes with the sacrifice of time, and the struggle of doing work that I know will be judged.

Maybe by watching Netflix en masse I’m avoiding my fear of failure?  Or maybe even a slight fear of success?

But I know it’s normal for all of us to be faced with these fears.

After all when you make an effort, it’ll look bad if you don’t succeed, right?

Or if you do succeed, you may feel that you’ll be stuck having to make the effort for the rest of your life to keep up the success.

So to avoid the fears, you self-sabotage by procrastinating, by not showing up at all, by quitting altogether, or by buffering (cushioning) yourself with food, drinks, or anything else that puts distance between you and what you really want.

But self-sabotage equals automatic failure.

You aren’t even giving yourself a chance to succeed when you indulge in this behavior.

However, the great thing about life is that you and me are given infinite chances to get things right.

If you’re self-sabotaging today, you have the chance to observe yourself and investigate why you’re doing it.  Then you have the opportunity to choose a different behavior tomorrow.

And remember, it’s not the fault of Netflix, food, alcohol, or cold mornings that you aren’t achieving results.

If you’re pointing your finger at anything or anyone other than yourself, then you’re giving away your control over finding a solution.

Start pointing the finger at yourself, to remind yourself that you are in control here.

Self-sabotaging is a choice, and with the right plan, you can make a different choice.

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So I’d love to know, how are you self-sabotaging?

Do you have something you really want to achieve but can’t seem to get it done?  Why is that?

Please share in the comments section of this blog, your story will help others I guarantee it.

Keep moving forward my friends,

Debbie

P.S. If you’re in need of coaching to lose weight or feel great in your body, I’m still taking clients.  I will coach you through self-sabotage and give you the tools you need to get yourself  back on track physically and mentally. 

Call or text me at 514-445-6434 for a free coaching call.