What will you say YES to in 2020?

I just finished Shonda Rhimes’ “Year of YES.”

Actually, I didn’t read it, I listened to it on my Audible app (this is the way I “read” most of my books now.)

Shonda Rhimes is the brilliant writer and creator of “Grey’s Anatomy” and her book is a kick in the ass for anyone looking to really LIVE their life.

She tells her brutally honest story in hilarious detail, and I really love the chapter called “Yes to My Body.”

This is where she decides to say no to numbing herself with food (“veal practice”, as she calls it), so she can say yes to really knowing and loving her body.

It’s worth the read.

The whole book is worth the read (I’ve actually “read” it twice.)

Because I think most of us need our own Year of YES.

A year where we say YES to ourselves, while learning to say NO to the things that numb us, kill our joy, or keep us stuck in indifference or resentment.

A year where we say YES to LIVING our lives.

If 2020 was to be your Year of YES, what would you say YES to?

I thought about this as I was inspired by Shonda’s words once again.

And here’s what I want to say YES to starting in the new year:

1. YES to more fun

I tend to get caught up in routine.

In fact, I thrive on routine.

Routine helps keep me on track with my job, my school work, my home life, and my business.

But too much routine makes for a BORING life.

And I realize that weeks go by sometimes and I haven’t done anything just for fun.

Everything I do has to have a purpose.

So in 2020, I want to say YES to opportunities and invitations to do things that sound fun to me.

Like going dancing, getting outside to skate or toboggan, seeing a play, going to the movies, traveling, going to a spa, or meeting a friend for coffee/tea to catch up and laugh together.

2. YES to time with my daughters

My oldest daughter will be twenty this year, and I realize that my girls won’t be around the house for much longer.

And I want to spend time with them, however I can get it.

I want to enjoy and appreciate all the moments.

As I sit in the passenger seat while my youngest daughter practices her driving.

As my almost-twenty year-old asks for me to help her study.

I want to savour these moments.

And say yes to any time they want to spend with their mom.

3. Yes to conflict

I don’t like conflict.

I may have already mentioned this in previous posts, but it’s still true for me.

When I see conflict coming towards me, I’m a champ and spinning around and running in the opposite direction.

To me, conflict has always been very negative, something that should be avoided at almost all costs.

But I want to change my view of conflict in 2020.

Instead of running, I want to start by standing still and letting it come towards me.

I want to get to know it, to ask it questions, to listen to what it has to teach me, and hopefully end up making friends with it.

Because even though I’ve been avoiding it since forever, I believe that to really live my life, I need to embrace it.

Then it will have a lot less power over me.

And I can stop running from it, and instead use that energy to run towards my future (and train for the NYC marathon… Another thing I said yes to recently!)

4. Yes to what I want (without guilt)

I’ve got a lot going on (like most people I know.)

But no matter how much I take on, I still expect that I’ll get all the household stuff done and be there for my family.

And if I’m not there, and don’t do what I think I should do, I feel guilty.

But I need to accept that everything I want requires time and focus.

If I choose to go to school and be the best coach I can be, I need to be in class one weekend a month this year, and take time for homework.

And if I choose to run a marathon, I’ve got to take the time to get out and run three times a week.

And if I choose to spend time with my girls, I’ve got to put down what I’m doing and focus on them.

This year I want to say yes to focusing on what I’ve chosen in that moment, and not feel guilty for what I’m not doing.

I know this is a common problem with many of my clients as well.

We’re all trying to find a balance in their lives, with everything we’ve got on our plates, and then we feel guilty when we think things are out of balance.

But I’ve learned that no matter what we do, we probably won’t feel completely balanced.

And I realize the guilt element is due to feeling like I should be doing something different than what I’m doing now.

Should is a red flag.

Should comes from a lifetime of conditioning from family, environment, and the endless influence of media.

Should shouldn’t exist.

Instead I must just be.

I am.

That should be a full sentence, no excuses, no guilt.

I am in class. I am running. I am talking to my daughter.

And I am happy with that.

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So, what do you want to say YES to in 2020?

And are you ready to say YES to what that entails?

Share in the comments below, I’d love to know your YES for the coming year.

I’ve found that sometimes we’re saying YES to things that we don’t want to be saying YES to.

This YES should be about the things that light you up, that bring meaning to your life, and that feel like love.

So saying YES in 2020 may be more about saying no to what you no longer want in your life.

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Wishing you a very happy holiday season and a wonderfully healthy 2020!

Keep moving forward my friend,

Debbie

P.S. Winter Boot Camp and Yoga are coming in January. Just check out my Classes page to find out more. See you in 2020!