You’ve failed.
You’ve fallen down, fallen off, and fallen right out of the proverbial wagon.
You were doing so well, and then, BAM!
Everything was derailed.
What do you do next?
How do you get up, get back on, and get back into it?
What I mean is, how do you keep moving forward?
Keep Moving Forward
It’s my mantra and my sign-off, and I love these words.
But, although they sound nice, what does it really look like to “keep moving forward”?
That’s what this post is about.
Because we all fail and we all fall down sometimes.
And that’s just part of any process.
But succeeding has nothing to do with how many times you fail or fall down.
It’s about how many times you get back up.
And keep moving forward.
So, here are my 5 steps on getting yourself up off the ground, dusting yourself off, and getting back into motion:
1. Be gentle with yourself
Imagine yourself as the little girl/boy you were, at five years old.
When you fell down, what did you want?
Was it a hug? A kiss on your boo-boo? Or words of encouragement and love?
I can tell you that you likely didn’t want someone roaring at you to get up, demanding you stop crying, and calling you a big baby.
But somehow, we tend to treat ourselves this way.
We self-bully.
For some reason, we think we need this “tough love” to make ourselves move forward.
And although it might seem tough, it’s not love at all.
Instead, refer back into your five-year-old self.
Feel what she/he wanted.
Love, tenderness, understanding.
Gentleness.
It’s from this gentle, loving place that you feel most supported, encouraged, and able.
Then you can get up.
And dare to try again.
2. Acknowledge that you’re not alone
Sometimes you may think you’re the only person going through what you’re going through.
You feel like a unique unicorn.
Special.
But alone.
With eight billion people on this planet, and billions more who have left us, I can say with some certainty you that what you’re dealing with isn’t unique.
And it’s very likely happening to someone else, somewhere on this planet, right now.
The problem is that when you think you’re alone, you feel like no one could possibly understand.
You feel powerless.
Like a victim.
But if you choose to see that there are, in fact, others struggling, just like you, then you can gain strength.
You can learn from from their successes, and even help them as you help yourself.
You’re always surrounded by others following a similar path.
And there’s so much power in that.
3. Breathe
Once you arrive at this place of self-love and support, take a breath.
Many breaths.
Breathe.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Feel that life-giving force in your body.
Be present with it.
This life force is in you, and in everyone around you.
And it means that you’re connected to something far greater than just yourself.
There’s no limit to this power inside you.
4. Remember
There have been so many times in your life that you’ve fallen, and you’ve gotten up.
It’s easy to forget.
We can so easily focus on what’s going wrong.
But it’s time to remember what’s gone right.
Pull out a memory of a time when you fell down, but then got back on your feet.
Even if it’s before you can remember, like when you learned to walk.
There have been many times like this in your life.
Times where, even though it didn’t look pretty, you pulled yourself out of the mud.
You were strong in that moment.
And you are strong now.
You’ve totally got this.
5. Take one step forward
To take a step forward, you must know where you’re going.
And if that’s not yet clear to you, take a moment to define that.
Even if it’s not a tangible, physical thing.
Even if it’s just a feeling.
Know what you’re aiming for.
And declare it, as if you’re already there.
“I’m feeling confident,” “I’m sitting on a plane to Bali,” “I’m swimming in the ocean.”
And then take a step.
Find one thing you can do, and take one tiny step.
Momentum can only build when there’s forward motion.
So, you’ve got to create forward motion, even if it’s small and slow.
Build on it, one slow, small step at a time.
And then you’ll get momentum.
With momentum, you will always keep moving forward.
How do you keep moving forward?
There’s a quote I read in a book by Wayne Dyer:
“If you knew who walked beside you at all times, on the path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.”
I think that the root of powerlessness are the beliefs that we’re alone and we’re victims of our circumstances.
But if we can believe that there’s more than that…
That there’s a force, an energy, a spirit, that’s greater than ourselves, that’s always there…
We would feel part of that energy.
And we wouldn’t need to wallow in fear, doubt, or self-pity.
I know that when I was plunged into the most difficult times of my life – my mother’s death, miscarriage, divorce, starting a business – my mind went immediately to self-pity and fear.
I felt alone, like no one could understand what I was going through.
My pain was different.
My situation was unique.
But of course, I was wrong.
And only when I recognized this, when I discovered that I wasn’t special, that my circumstances weren’t unique, and that my feelings were felt by others….
Only then did I begin moving forward.
Because I allowed myself to see my own humanity, feel empathy, and experience connection.
I wasn’t alone.
Keep moving forward my friend, you’re not alone.
Debbie
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