On this last day of 2022, I’m thinking about the blank sheet that is 2023.
A whole new year ahead of us.
A fresh start.
Anything is possible.
And although a lot of what’s going to happen in 2023 isn’t in your control…
Who you are, no matter what happens, is always up to you.
You don’t have to feel the way you routinely feel today.
You can generate new feelings and thoughts anytime you want.
So, 2023 can be the year that you drop old, stale patterns of reacting.
It’s the year you can stop using food or wine to deal with negative events or feelings.
Or you can purposely create a morning routine that generates positive energy for your whole day.
And it all starts with one simple question…
How do you want to feel this year?
Danielle Laporte has a book called “The Desire Map” where she has you determine your “core desired feelings.”
You decide on how you want to FEEL rather than what you want to accomplish.
And I love that because a lot of us want to lose weight, or have more me-time, or exercise more.
But why?
You want them because you believe they’ll make you FEEL better.
More free, or proud, or strong, or confident,…
So, instead of declaring your 2023 resolution as “LOSE 10 LBS”, why not resolve to feel more FREE?
But how do you do that?
You begin by first figuring out those feelings you most want to feel.
Here are the steps…
STEP 1 – Stream your thoughts
Think about how you want to feel.
To do that, go back to the best moments of your life, and remember the feelings.
Do this for every area of your life…
Your close relationships, your work and education, your body and health, and your spirituality.
For example, recall moments like your wedding day, or when you held your baby for the first time, or when you first fell in love,…
Just write down everything you can remember about those moments.
Let your mind run free, it doesn’t matter how messy it all looks.
I call this a brain dump or stream of consciousness writing.
It can be helpful to put on a timer for maybe 5 minutes for each area of your life.
Get it all out on paper.
STEP 2 – Pick out the feelings
Look at what you wrote.
Circle any FEELINGS that you wrote down.
And notice the ones that you’ve written most often.
They’re a clue to what you truly want.
STEP 3 – Drill down
So if “happy” showed up often in your writing, ask yourself about what it REALLY means to you.
A thesaurus can be helpful for this part, because you really want to get to the word that truly lights you up.
“Happy” is a big little word, full of sub meanings.
What started as “happy” may actually become passionate or cherished.
See if you can generate about 3 to 5 core desired feelings in this exercise.
STEP 4 – What makes you feel that way?
In each area of your life, what are the things that make you feel these feelings?
So, if “passionate” is your word, notice what makes you feel passionate in your relationship, your work, your wellbeing, and your spirituality.
Maybe you feel passionate when you’re dancing with your partner, or coaching other team members, or doing yoga, or painting.
Link the feelings to actual activities or moments that you’ve already experienced.
STEP 5 – Create a plan
With each of your 3 to 5 core desired feelings, decide on three actions you can take in 2023 that will allow you to feel MORE like that.
You already know what worked in the past, so what can you do to generate those feelings moving forward?
List the actions, big or small, and you’ll have created a plan for what you’ll be doing in 2023.
When I just did this exercise, I discovered my core desired feelings for 2023 are:
- Bold
- Intentional
- Prosperous
These are not at all the words I imagined I would end up with.
But here they are strongly resonating with me right now.
So, for example, to me “intentional” boils down to being intentional about spending more time with people I love, being more strategic in my work, and keeping my body strong and fit.
Intentional feels powerful to me,
It means that I’m taking charge, I’m thinking ahead, and I’m purposely setting up my life to support the person I want to be.
When I first work with clients, so many say they just want to feel “happy”.
But happy is so vague and elusive, and there’s no structure to support it.
However, when you do this exercise, you’ll likely be surprised by the feelings that most resonate with you.
You’ll get to the core of what you really want, and how you can get it.
I hope you found this helpful!
I wish you and your family all the best in health and happiness for 2023.
Keep moving forward,
Debbie
P.S. January 10th is the day I begin both my BF2BF Group Coaching Program and Belly Fit Yoga. Hope you can join me for one or both!
P.P.S. For those who are local, January 16th is the day we begin BOOT CAMP. It’s back for the first time in 3 years, and it’s in person.