Work is a big part of our lives.
Most of us are at work, whether physically or virtually, eight hours a day on average.
And the work we do impacts our health, our stress, and our physical, emotional, and financial well-being.
So, what, when, and how you work matters.
Especially in midlife.
Because the challenges at work and outside of work are changing.
And they impact you on every level.
Outside of work you may be dealing with…
- Children leaving the nest
- Partner retiring
- Taking care of aging parents, or experiencing the loss of parents
- Trying to rejoin the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom
- Relationships ending, and becoming a single-income household
- Being alone or lonely
- Perimenopause issues causing you physical and emotional discomfort…
And within your work, you may be…
- Feeling unfulfilled and trying to find meaning in what you do
- Suffering from burnout
- Feeling that you constantly have to prove your worth, especially with younger colleagues
- Experiencing a lay off
- Conflicted about next steps and changing careers…
I’ve experienced and am experiencing some of these things myself.
And they’ve definitely impacted my career choices and made me think about how I really want my work to be.
But many women I speak to feel stuck in their current work situations.
Despite what may be happening outside or inside of work, they feel like things can’t or won’t change.
And there are three fears that I see all the time which keep women from making a move…
Fear of not having enough money
When this is a fear, you’re paralyzed because you believe you can’t leave a job.
Or, if you’re in transition, you may accept the first job that comes along.
The antidote to this is to understand what this fear is really about, and to determine if it’s based in truth.
You’ll usually realize that these fears are based on old beliefs from early in life.
And you’ll discover that you do have enough, often more than enough, and you have the capability to generate more.
You’ll realize, with relief, that you won’t be living on the streets anytime soon, and instead, you’ll begin to see that you can actually thrive.
Now, another common fear that shows up is…
Fear of failing
When this is a fear, you feel like you must constantly perform at the highest level, regardless of the stress and health issues it may be causing.
It’s a drive that many women have, and it shows up as perfectionism, often coming from a place of just wanting to be appreciated and liked.
However, this is a nasty fear because it causes you NOT to challenge the status quo, even when the status quo is clearly not benefitting you.
Unfortunately, this is an easy path to burnout.
And yes, it can happen to you, and to anyone.
The antidote here is to decide on boundaries for your work life and then implement them.
Implementation is the key here, and I suggest going slowly, step-by-step, starting with the easiest boundary first.
Finally, there’s a third fear here…
Fear of starting something new
Many women I meet will stay in a job because they don’t believe they can do any other job.
Even though the skills they have are well-suited for countless other positions and companies.
Or, on the other end of the spectrum, they have a dream to leave their work and start something of their own.
And that would mean starting at the bottom, in a lot of uncertainty.
I’m very familiar with this one, because I did it myself.
If this is your fear, then I suggest trying new things outside of work first.
Small things, like painting or attending a class or meeting other people who have done what you want to do.
So the antidote to this fear (which I believe is based in our need for comfort and certainty) is to take small steps and get a little uncomfortable.
Notice that good things come from a little discomfort.
Build this muscle and starting something new won’t seem so scary anymore.
Are you feeling stuck in your job or career?
You’re definitely not alone.
I felt like this, too.
When I left my corporate engineering career, I felt all these fears.
I was afraid I wouldn’t have enough money and that I’d be letting people down.
I was also afraid I was too old, and too far along in my career to now start something new.
But I’ve learned that staying in a work situation that isn’t healthy or fulfilling can have severe consequences on all aspects of your life.
It can ruin relationships, cause significant physical and mental health problems, and make you feel lost and alone.
Whether you leave a career or decide to stay, what matters is that you do so on your terms.
You can re-imagine and re-create what it is you want, wherever you are.
No matter how old you are.
And you can get there, step by step.
Keep moving forward,
Debbie
P.S. Are you ready to get unstuck and change the way you work? I can help you move forward. Together we can re-imagine your career and get you what you really want. Ready to talk about it? Just book a time and let’s find out what’s possible.