We talk about self-sabotage.
And yes, it’s kind of a real thing.
Caused by your well-meaning, protective brain.
Your brain, like mine, wants to keep you the same, because the same is safe in your brain’s world.
But as you know, staying the same isn’t necessarily the same as being healthy.
And so you can see where conflict might be…
You (conscious you) wants to be healthier, BUT you (subconscious you) wants you to stay the same.
So, what happens?
The powerful subconscious (the drive to stay the same) frequently prevails, hence…
Self-sabotage.
Your brain
So, let’s understand your brain a little.
Your brain wants to do what’s easiest, because easy takes up less energy.
And what’s easiest to your brain is to run the same programs, or habits.
And because of this, the habits you have been doing for decades have become pretty much automatic…
They’ve literally carved a pathway in your brain.
Just like when you walk over the same ground over and over, when you think something or take an action over and over, you create a pathway in your brain.
A neural pathway.
And it makes it easy for neurons (brain cells) to take that path.
So, when you’re presented with a choice, you’ll choose the thing you’re most familiar with, because it takes little effort for your brain to make that connection.
It’s a lot harder for neurons to create a new path, because it takes more energy.
But it can be done.
Through conscious, deliberate effort.
Create new paths
Thinking.
Reminding, over and over and over.
Reinforcing that new path until it becomes the easy one to take.
Just like you did when you first showed up here in this life.
You learned things by absorbing the thoughts and actions of others, and repeating them over and over until they became part of you.
I was just reminded of this this week, with the snow that we had.
I’ve lived in the Montreal area all my life, so I’m very used to snow.
I know what to wear when it’s snowing, how to walk in it, how to shovel it, how to drive in it, and how to build a snowperson.
I literally have pathways in my brain on how to interact with snow.
But someone who has never seen snow has none of these pathways.
They would have to really think, try things, fail, fall down, get back up, and keep going if they want to live in a place that experiences snow several months of the year.
It would be exhausting the first winter or two.
But then those new neural pathways will have formed, and what once took effort would become almost effortless.
It’s the same thing anytime you want to create a habit that doesn’t feel familiar or natural to you.
If you’ve never really exercised, you have to train your body AND brain to get it done consistently.
Or if you’ve been drinking Coke daily for twenty years and you want to stop, you have to train your brain – let the neural pahtway fade – to no longer crave Coke.
It takes effort in the form of consistency, and persistence.
And, of course, you’ll encounter resistance (but resistance is good because it usually means you’re going the new right way).
But you can do it, your brain was made to do it, and you’ve gotten this far in life because of this capability.
So, when you consciously want to change a long-time habit, understand this about your brain:
Your brain is an amazing instrument; it’s made to adapt and change, but that takes effort which requires experiencing success AND failure until you finally get there.
But once you make the effort, and repeat something consistently, over time, you’ll have created a new path, and you’ll have caused an old path (habit) to disappear.
Is your brain really sabotaging you?
Sort of.
But you, that conscious you, always has the last word.
You CAN change your brain.
Keep moving forward,
Debbie
P.S. If you want to STOP your self-sabotage, I can help definitely help you. Let’s do this. Email me, message me, or book a time to talk .