Last week I was away in Vancouver.
It was so great to be on a vacation again.
To visit new places, and meet people.
That’s where I found myself in a hot spring pool, talking to another woman who introduced me to the term Revenge Bedtime.
And although I knew about it as a concept, I didn’t know it had a name.
So, here’s what REVENGE BEDTIME PROCRASTINATION (which I found out is the actual term) is, in a nutshell:
⭐It’s when you go to bed later than you wanted because of stress and – even more likely – because it’s the only “you-time” you’ve had all day.⭐
And of course, after getting to bed late, the next morning you’re tired.
Over days and weeks of doing this, you can become exhausted, impatient, cranky, and as a result, make less-than-positive decisions when it comes to your health and wellness.
Including continuing to go to bed late, snacking at night, drinking more, not moving as much,…
As you might have guessed, during these COVID times, REVENGE BEDTIME PROCRASTINATION has become an even bigger issue.
Because the lines between work, home, and family have been blurred.
And any “you-time” you might have had pre-COVID may now be almost non-existent.
The REVENGE part of this term comes from the idea of getting REVENGE on the daytime – work, kids, family obligations.
But it’s not those things that are the problem.
It’s the LACK OF “YOU-TIME” that’s usually the problem.
Time that you spend on YOU, on purpose.
To do something you enjoy.
It’s no surprise to me that WOMEN are the most susceptible to this condition.
Very few women I know take or make the time they need.
Life, for many women, has become a rush of scheduled events and activities that have little or nothing to do with caring for themselves.
And this hurried, jam-packed, “I’m-too-busy” life has become an epidemic.
It leaves you feeling frequently OVERWHELMED and UNDER-CARED-FOR.
And due to the sleep loss and stress, it’s actually a MAJOR HEALTH RISK.
But fortunately, the solution to REVENGE BEDTIME is simple.
And it’s in your control.
1. Purposely create time for YOU to enjoy every day
Actually schedule this “you-time” in your calendar.
It can be 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour…
How long you take is up to you.
The important thing is just to make sure you create this time ON PURPOSE.
Because it never just shows up.
And then, in that time, do something your enjoy.
Do anything you want.
Take a bath, read, paint, drink a quiet cup of coffee, daydream, watch tv…
The “what” doesn’t matter.
As long as it’s enjoyment for you.
So, it’s not to catch up on housework, or work-work, or homework.
It’s time to do something for you.
Without requiring it to look a certain way.
Allow it to be whatever it needs to be on any given day.
But make sure you’ve got the time planned in advance.
Next…
2. Create a consistent bedtime routine
Ideally, make bedtime the same time each night.
Start winding down about a half-hour before bed.
Do things like take a shower/bath, make a cup of herbal tea, put on cozy pajamas, listen to calming music or a meditation, and turn off devices 30 minutes before sleep.
If you watch tv at night, do all the things (brush teeth, shower, pajamas,…) before you sit down.
Make the path to bedtime calmer and easier.
For more ideas, check out a previous post: https://www.momentum-fit.ca/hows-your-sleep/
3. Have compassion for YOU
Imagine your child or a friend coming to you, overwhelmed and exhausted.
Think about what you’d say to them, how you’d care for them.
Feel the compassion you’d have towards them.
And turn that compassion towards yourself.
Then take your power back.
Realize that you’re feeling angry, frustrated, and like you want REVENGE on whatever appears to be taking all your time.
But notice that your time isn’t being taken up by these things.
Instead, you’re allowing your time to be trampled on by others.
Accept that responsibility.
Then create time for YOU.
Become your own gate–keeper.
Fiercely defend the time you choose to take for yourself.
And have compassion for yourself when you don’t quite succeed.
Choose to renew your commitment to YOU each day.
And that feeling of wanting REVENGE will begin to back away.
Are you experiencing REVENGE BEDTIME PROCRASTINATION?
Let me know in the comments below.
I know I’ve experienced this in times of high stress.
In particular when my kids were young, and I was a newly single mom.
Going to bed late became a vicious cycle.
And I remember feeling RESENTFUL a lot of the time.
Resentful towards my kids, my work, my household responsiblities, …
All of it.
It was a horrible feeling, and I felt guilty about it so much of the time.
Ultimately I recognized that just by making ME a priority, I could let go of that person I didn’t like being around.
It just took about half an hour a day.
It gave me time to go for a short run, or read a few pages of a book.
And just that made me feel less vengeful, and finally allowed me to get the sleep I was needing.
Keep moving forward,
Debbie
P.S. Are you putting off BEDTIME to get more YOU-TIME? Let’s talk about it. Book a time and we can find solutions together: https://calendly.com/debbie-harbec-coaching/free-consultation