We all need a break sometimes.
For me, that break is in progress, as I’m in beautiful Vancouver this week.
Woo hoo!
So, instead of a brand new post, I’ve chosen to send you a great little post from a while back.
It asks you to consider if healthy eating feels more like love, or punishment.
Enjoy, and I’ll be back next week 🙂
What do your “reward” foods look like?
What kinds of food do you celebrate with?
What foods scream “Fun!” to you?
Maybe… Cake, chocolate, milk and cookies, burger and fries, pizza and beer, wine and chips (Friday night, oh ya!)…?
I have to admit that I’ve very rarely (if ever) met someone who rewards themselves with an apple, or celebrates with a bowl of steamed broccoli.
In fact, do you kind of feel like these natural, plant foods are anti-rewards?
If you do, then I believe that you probably were told this as a kid:
“No dessert until you eat your vegetables!”
What do you think this kind of threat does to a kid!?
Well, for me it left a strong impression that dessert is fun and veggies are punishment.
Will Power vs Love
Then you grew up.
And eventually you wanted to change your ways.
You made a decision to start eating better and get healthier.
So you did something we all do: You tapped into your WILL POWER.
Here’s an example of what WILL POWER looks like in action:
You’re offered a piece of cake, and you reeeally want it, but you politely say “no”, and maybe even add a comment like “I’m trying to stay away from sugar.”
Of course your intentions are good; you’re using your WILL POWER to stick to your plan.
And it seems like a positive thing.
I mean, people will actually complement you on what amazing WILL POWER you have when you’re able to turn down tempting foods.
But I’m sorry to tell you, your WILL POWER probably won’t work in the long term.
Because it smacks of DEPRIVATION and PUNISHMENT.
As this negative energy is exhausting, WILL POWER almost never lasts.
Instead, I want to offer you a very different approach.
Here’s the same cake example using LOVE instead of WILL POWER:
You’re offered a piece of cake, and although you see it, and it looks delicious, you take a moment to check in with yourself.
You become consciously aware of your body, and how it feels, and you happen to notice you’re not hungry. Also, you’re aware of how that cake might make your body feel an hour from now.
So, out of conscious consideration for your own self – aka LOVE – you say “no”.
Can you see how this “no” feels very different from the “no” in the first example?
It feels feels like self-respect, and a lot more empowered and confident than that deprived “no” that came from sheer WILL POWER.
You really get the feeling that this “no” really means “no”.
And in fact, you could have even chosen to respond with a very enlightened “yes” in this scenario too.
The answer doesn’t matter, the question does.
When you’re using WILL POWER, your internal questions might sound like:
- “How many pounds will that add to my thighs?” or
- “How long will I have to workout to burn off all those calories?”
But when you’re inquiring from a place of LOVE, your questions will sound more like:
- “Will I get pure enjoyment (i.e. no guilt) out of that?” or
- “Am I truly, physically hungry, or is another part of me feeling empty?”
As you can see, the first set of questions are kind of, well, shallow.
Whereas the second set of questions come from a deeper, more introspective place.
Learning to eat healthy from a place of LOVE takes practice, it’s probably not what you’re used to seeing or hearing.
But when you can get there, it changes everything.
It’s where you can truly have your cake and eat it too.
So, does eating healthy feel more like PUNISHMENT or LOVE to you?
Let me know in the comments below, I’d love to hear what you think.
For me, growing up, healthy food definitely felt like a punishment.
I only ate my veggies to get the dessert.
So when I moved out, and had to make my own food and my own rules, I started to chose to eat healthier.
It happened gradually, over many years, but I eventually learned to love and appreciate most veggies, even without dessert.
And these days, I go by how food makes me feel, because I don’t have the desire or the time to feel crappy.
And almost always, my choices come out of love and care for myself.
So, healthy food has gone the full spectrum, from punishment to love over my life.
And I’m glad it’s landed at love.
Keep moving forward,
Debbie
P.S. Want to learn more about eating from a place of LOVE? I can definitely help you with that. Let’s find a time to talk: https://calendly.com/debbie-harbec-coaching/free-consultation