How to NOT use willpower and get it done

Happy New Year!

It’s the beginning of 2019, and with that you may be determined to everything right this year.

You will FINALLY eat healthy and eat less.

But how are you going to get this done?

Let me suggest how NOT to get it done:  WILLPOWER.

We’ve all tried willpower to help us change our habits, and it might work at first, but most of the time it wears out.

Because WILLPOWER takes a tremendous amount of ENERGY.

Every time you say “no” to something you really want, or eat something “healthy” while everyone else is having something that you’d rather be eating, you’re RESISTING. 

When you resist something, you’re using willpower.

And, in this case, it’s not actually the food you’re resisting; it’s the thought “I really, really want to eat that!” that you’re resisting.

Because food is just food; it just IS.

It’s what you think about the food that makes the difference.

For example, you may LOVE chocolate, but your neighbor two doors down might be completely indifferent to it.  Same food, two different thoughts. 

So, you’re not fighting the food, you’re fighting your THOUGHTS about the food.

Make sense?

When you use willpower, it’s as if you’re running away from a monster that’s chasing you (in this case it’s the thought that “I really, really want it!” that’s the monster.)

Eventually you’ll get tired of running, because no one can run forever.

And that’s when the thought will get you, and you’ll eat the food, almost against your own will.

As you can see, WILLPOWER IS EXHAUSTING.

Now, consider a feather.

A feather is soft, weightless, and moves seemingly effortlessly.

Imagine that instead of running away from your thought about a food you’re trying to resist, you instead approach it with a feather.

Yes, a feather.

Approaching the thought shows that you’re not afraid of it, because you know it can’t hurt you; it’s just a thought.

When you get up close, you’ll see that it’s just a bubble containing a few words strung together forming a sentence. It’s harmless.

Then you can gently tap the thought bubble with your beautiful, delicate feather and watch it disappear.

In this way, you’re not FIGHTING the thought, WRESTLING with “should I, or shouldn’t I?”, or RUNNING in the opposite direction.

You’re just ALLOWING the thought, BECOMING AWARE that it has no power, and then LETTING IT GO.

Poof!

Sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

But you may be thinking you can’t possibly do that; it can’t be that easy.

And I’m telling you it can be.

If you’re really willing to see that food is not out to get you, that your thoughts about food are not evil, and that you’ve had those ruby slippers all along, everything can change.

Your only difficulty will be picking the most beautiful feather.


When have you tried willpower? Did it work for you?

I’ve definitely used it in the past, especially when I first tried giving up sugar, and also when I became vegetarian.

Now I’ve learned that I can’t power my way through change over the long haul.

Gentle awareness is the only thing I know that works, especially when you do mess up (and we all do.)

With willpower as your fuel, you’ll likely throw in the towel…

But with gentle awareness you’ll have the energy and understanding to pick yourself up and try again.

Keep moving forward,

Debbie

P.S. Boot Camp and Yoga classes are starting up this week in Rosemere! January 7th and January 10th… Get more details or sign up on my CLASSES page. Hope to see you there!

Expect more in 2019

“Don’t set your expectations too high, you’ll be setting yourself up for disappointment.”

Yikes!!

I’m sure you, like me, have heard this more than once… Am I right?

The problem is, for me, and maybe for you, I fell for it; hook, line, and sinker.

In fact, I’ve allowed this thought to hold me hostage in certain areas of my life.

It’s kept me from thinking too big, expecting help, and expecting I’ll succeed.

But when I really, consciously, think about it, what’s the big deal about having high expectations?

Continue reading “Expect more in 2019”

A new free webinar… coming next week!

It’s coming!

I’m rolling out a new, free 45-minute webinar for you next Tuesday.

It’s all about belly fat and hormones… but really it’s about so much more.

As your hormones are changing (over 40, heading to or through menopause), your body and mind are changing too.

Belly fat can be one part of that, maybe the most noticeable for some of us.

But you may also be feeling down or irritable.  Or you may be having trouble sleeping.  Or maybe you’re getting headaches or peeing more often.

That’s why I created this webinar, so I can teach you the essentials:

  • How to lose (or prevent) belly fat as you move beyond 40 and through menopause
  • How to feel better – body and mind – and have more energy than you’ve had in years
  • How to work with, instead of against, your changing hormones

Because when your hormones are happy, your body and your mind. are happy too.

So, take a couple of minutes to watch the short video below, and then simply sign up by clicking on the big turquoise button.

Remember, it’s free,  and it’ll be live Tuesday, December 11th at 11am EST.

And if you can’t make it live, register anyways,  the recording will be sent only to those who registered.

Thanks and I’m looking forward to having you online with me on Tuesday!

Keep moving forward my friend,

Debbie

P.S.  In case you missed the link above, you can register for the webinar right here:

https://debbie-harbec.lpages.co/webinar-balance-hormones-lose-belly-fat

Getting hungry

Hunger.

I love this topic because I think hunger is the key to so many breakthroughs: Physical and emotional.

However, most of us aren’t comfortable with feeling hungry.

Hunger feels unpleasant and urgent.

And the human brain, because it was created thousands of years ago, is still seeking pleasure and avoiding pain in order to survive… So it’s not interested in being hungry.

In essence, our brain’s primitive survival function is working against us in today’s over-abundance world.

So, if you’ve got belly fat to lose, or you’re battling inflammation, or you’re suffering menopausal symptoms like hot flashes or night sweats, or you’re eating to avoid feeling certain emotions…

Learning to be hungry could change everything for you.

Continue reading “Getting hungry”

Menopause, belly fat, and food

This week I decided to try something different.

I’m bringing my blog to you in video… I guess then it’s called a vlog.

It’s about the 4 hormones you should know about, especially if you’re heading to or through menopause.

And especially if you’re interested in less belly fat.

Also, I’ve put together a freebie for you.

It’s a PDF with the foods, 3 meal plans, guidelines and resources that can help you lessen the symptoms of menopause – including the gut.

Here’s the link to the freebie:

And here’s this week’s vlog:

Thanks for watching and don’t forget to grab your freebie!!

Keep moving forward my friend,

Debbie

How to lose 50 pounds or more

Weight loss is a tough process.

I won’t sugar coat it.

Change – that is any type of change including weight loss – is uncomfortable.

But if the change is positive, pushing through the discomfort will strengthen every aspect of your being.

I know for a fact having personally gone through divorce, starting a business, and  working with clients who’ve lost a lot of weight, making positive changes on purpose makes you more resilient, energized, and present in your life.

So, if you’ve got a lot to lose, and you’re ready to get it done, here’s how I recommend tackling it:

Continue reading “How to lose 50 pounds or more”

Food Journals: Can they help you lose weight?

You might have thought about keeping a food journal, but have you ever really done it?

If you have, maybe you discovered that it was useful in helping you lose weight, or uncovering a food intolerance, or just becoming more aware of what you’ve been eating.

It’s a tool I suggest to all my clients because I know it can work for all these reasons.

But there’s also one thing I want you to watch out for when using a food journal.

Continue reading “Food Journals: Can they help you lose weight?”

3 simple tips for walking right by the Halloween candy

This coming Wednesday is Halloween.

When the kids were younger, I loved getting them dressed up and walking door-to-door, seeing all the neighbors out and about.

And of course, I loved those mini chocolate bars… especially the O-Henry’s.

But I didn’t have to wait for Halloween night to enjoy them.

Because Halloween starts around the beginning of September, just as the kids are getting back to school and summer is fading.

That’s when boxes and bags of mini chocolate bars, lollipops, caramels, chips, and chewy become prominently displayed in the local Walmart, Cosco, and grocery stores.

Because the candy makers know, and the stores know, that you and me, we don’t just buy this stuff for the kids.

We buy it for ourselves.

Continue reading “3 simple tips for walking right by the Halloween candy”

Imagine you woke up with amnesia…

Imagine you woke up with amnesia…

You don’t remember who you were, you have no feelings about the person you used to be, you have no history.

You are a fresh sheet of paper, your story hasn’t been written.

You have the chance to recreate yourself.  You can rebuild your mind with new thoughts and your heart with new feelings.

What new thought about yourself would you want to write down first?

Continue reading “Imagine you woke up with amnesia…”