At 50, I’ve realized that the real hard work in life isn’t the physical stuff we do.
It’s not the going to work or school, the moving to new places, the raising kids, or the actual physical challenges we put ourselves through.
The real hard work is facing ourselves.
Facing who we are and what we actually want.
Taking the time to listen to and understand ourselves.
Most of us don’t go there.
Either we don’t think about it, or, more likely, we avoid it.
I know because I often hear a version of:
“I should be happy. I’ve got everything I could ever want, but for some reason I still don’t feel satisfied or complete.”
And when you feel like this, you judge yourself to be selfish and ungrateful.
But it’s not that you’re selfish or ungrateful.
It’s that you’ve been ignoring the inner part of yourself.
She feels overlooked.
Unfulfilled.
You’ve spent years focused on building your outer world which now appears to be fairly full and complete.
You’ve got the job, the home, the family, the friends, and yet…
Something’s missing.
You’re missing.
And now you’re scared.
Scared that if you bring her out now, it may mean a complete overhaul of your outer life.
But often, it’s much simpler than that.
Just start by acknowledging her.
Allowing her to be.
Listening to her voice.
Writing down her thoughts.
Being curious and appreciating what she’s all about.
What she wants.
Who she is.
Listening to her doesn’t negate the life you’ve lived up until now.
You’re just allowing both sides of your life to exist.
So, maybe you rediscover that your inner self loves the color RED.
But red doesn’t fit into your neutrally-colored outer life.
So, for years you’ve kept red hidden.
And with red suppressed, you notice you’re feeling unheard, unseen.
And you blame it on the world around you.
Hiding this part of you is causing frustration and friction.
But it’s not the fault of those around you.
It’s because of you.
You weren’t listening.
You didn’t want to.
It seemed easier, and more convenient for everyone, if you just ignored her.
Because maybe you thought red would be too much to handle for those around you.
Or red would stand out and be different.
Or red would be judged or hated.
You were afraid.
And now you’re feeling lost.
Unheard, unseen.
Or worse, you feel like you want to explode.
And there’s only one solution that will bring you peace.
Let your red shine.
Wear it, paint it, upholster it, sleep in it.
Start small and let it grow.
Bring your red out into the light.
Be brave.
By being authentically you.
Wishing you a 2023 filled with your version of red.
Keep moving forward,
Debbie
P.S. As you know, I’m a life coach, and I help women in midlife let their red shine. It’s liberating, becoming who you are meant to be. Book a free consultation and let’s make 2023 your year.