Using the “Rules for Being Human” to live by

Have you ever come across this list of “Rules for Being Human?”

It’s unclear who wrote it, or how long ago.

But I think they’re genius.

To me, they really break down the human experience.

And attempt to explain how life as a human really works.

I think we all intuitively know these things, but when we read them consciously, they can change the way we look at ourselves, and life itself.

Here they are:

1. You will receive a body

You make like it or hate it, but it will be yours for this time around.

I love this first rule. 

Because not matter what, we are all given a body to live this life.

And it makes it clear that we HAVE a body, but we ARE NOT our body.

It’s our property.

Like a house, a garden, or a car.

However, sometimes we spend more time caring for our houses, gardens, and cars than we do our bodies.

And, as a result, our bodies can become a source or shame, rather than pride.

But you can turn that around.

By remembering your body is THE gift you’re given to enter this human life.

It’s the only one you have and it’s irreplacable.

I know that when I think of my body as a unique gift, I’m better at caring for it.

I’m much more likely to be grateful for it and all it does.

And I’m more motivated to do things that will help it work better, feel better, and even look better.

Ok, Rule #1 is a heavy one.

Onto to Rule #2…

2. You will learn lessons

You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons.  You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant or stupid.

Sometimes I think that the things that show up on my path aren’t fair.

“Why do I have to go through this?”, “Why is this happening to me?”

But if I think about all the things that show up as lessons to be learned, for my own growth, then I can see that they ARE the path.

Each obstacle becomes a stepping stone.

And each stepping stone, a step closer to becoming a fuller, more enlightened human.

It takes a shift of mindset, but as I get older, this one is making a lot more sense.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons

Growth is a process of trial and error – experimentation.  The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ends up working.

I used to believe that this life is about doing it right, the first time.

I always approached school this way.

It was about making no mistakes, or as few as possible, so that I could feel successful.

But mostly all it did was leave me feeling empty.

I didn’t deviate from the path, I didn’t dare experiment outside the guidelines.

When the goal becomes “make as few mistakes as possible” then the path to that goal is cautious and bland, lacking the scenery of a road less traveled.

I think, if there’s anything I’m learning in this present life, it’s that mistakes are not only inevitable, they’re necessary for a life well lived.

They’re the material that we use to fabricate our best life stories.

So, I now try to view my life and each thing I do as an experiment.

I don’t know if it’ll work, but I know I’ll learn a lot, and enjoy myself along the way.

And I’ll have great stories to tell the grand-kids one day.

4. A lesson will be repeated until learned

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it.  When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

Do you ever keep making the same mistakes over and over?

You’ll know you are by the familiar pit-in-you-stomach feeling that shows up.

You’ll notice the familiar surroundings, and if you haven’t learned the lesson yet, you’ll still be baffled how you ended up there and blaming other people and circumstances.

I know there’s a lesson I’m still learning.

It shows up in different forms but it’s basically trying to teach me that I need to get over my fear of negative emotion.

And in particular my fear of disappointing others.

I know it’s a pretty common one, but unless I address it, I’m going to be stuck here for a while.

5. Learning lessons does not end

There is no part of life that does not contain lessons.  If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

When I was younger, I believed that one day, when I would be all grown up, life would just be perfection.

All the lessons would have been learned, and I’d just coast to the finish line.

Well, turns out, life is exactly NOT like that.

Life is LESSONS.

That’s all it is.

One lesson after another.

Constant learning.

And now I’ve understood that when you stop learning, you stop growing.

You never know it all.

There’s always a point of view you’ve not considered, or a path you haven’t taken.

Constant learning means you’re alive.

And when you stop learning, you’re dead – either physically or otherwise.

6. There is no better place than “here”

When your “there” has become “here” you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.”

I’m familiar with greener grass syndrome.  

“If only…”

Sometimes, it seems like all the good stuff in life lies just beyond, just out of my reach, somewhere over “there.”

And that I have to strive to arrive at that destination.

And until I get “there” I won’t be happy, fulfilled, loved, knowledgeable, wise,…

But in fact, it’s all right “here.”

Being happy, fulfilled, loved, knowledgeable, or wise are CHOICES to make.

I can decide now, in the middle of the crisis-of-the-day, to be happy.

I can decide right now, as I stand alone, that I am fulfilled.

I can decide that right now, when things seem utterly impossible, that I know enough to figure it out.

Making the choice to feel these things now, instead of later, doesn’t mean I don’t have goals.

It just means I’ll move towards them with an open spirit, free of the pressure of depending on the outcome for my happiness and fulfillment.

By loving my “here”, I’m already “there.”

7. Others are merely mirrors of you

You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

Every heard the expression “it takes one to know one?”

When we’re critical of a trait in someone else, it’s because we recognize it.

It’s familiar.

Because we have that trait, consciously or unconsciously.

I catch myself sometimes being critical, and quickly turn my attention inward.

So I can catch a glimpse of that in myself.

Because I know that what I want to criticize exists inside me.

And likewise, what I admire in someone else, also exists inside me.

When I can see this, I see how connected we all really are.

8. What you make of life is up to you

You have all the tools and resources you need – what you do with them is up to you.  The choice is yours.

I know I’ve got money, I’ve got intelligence, I’ve got physical strength, and I’ve got access to information like never before.

I should feel like life is AWESOME.

But sometimes I don’t.

Sometimes all I see is what’s MISSING.

But I have the choice.

I can choose to see the LACK or I can choose to see the ABUNDANCE.

Both exist simultaneously.

And I can see either one if I look hard enough.

But it’s up to me which one I pay more attention to.

9. The answers lie inside you

All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

I sometimes find myself searching online for the answer to my problems.

Only to realize, most of the time, that I already knew this stuff.

There’s nothing new.

How many times do I think to myself “I already know that.”

But despite knowing, I haven’t actually applied it to my life.

I’m KNOWING but not DOING.

There’s a gap there, and it takes conscious attention to know the difference.

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What do you think of these “Rules for Being Human?”

Bascially what I get out of this list of rules is that LIFE is an experience.

There’s no right or wrong way to do it.

There’s just your way.

And the lessons you learn.

I think if you feel like there’s something you need to do, then you should do it.

It won’t be a mistake.

Just a learning.

When I left my corporate job in 2012, a big part of me grappled with right versus wrong.

Was it the WRONG thing to do?

And that’s when I began to adopt the idea of life as an experiment.

I woke up to the fact that THIS IS IT.

This is my one opportunity to try stuff out.

If we all played it safe, we’d all still be living in caves.

We wouldn’t have made awesome discoveries, written amazing literature, or climbed the tallest peaks.

I think these rules encompass the adventure that life is meant to be, with the trust, empathy, and understanding we’re all meant to have.

So that we can keep moving forward,

Debbie

P.S. Is there something you REALLY want, and you realize the urgency of it? I can help.

Book an hour with me and we can talk about how to move towards where you want to go.